They're Out To Get You

Fat cells, I mean. The ones you've lost and you think are gone for good? Nope. They're still hanging around invisibly, wreaking havoc in your world whenever they catch you in a moment of weakness. Case in point:I've lost 32 pounds since last Fall. I go to the gym 5 days a week, and Weight Watchers once a week. This weekend, I fell off the wagon. No gym from Friday - Monday. Eating everything in sight. Stuff I haven't had in months and months. Chicken wings, raw fries dipped in ranch, ridiculous stuff. Today I wake up with a new resolve. I have a nutritionally balanced, low calorie breakfast and head into the gym. Great workout. Feeling good.

................and this is when it happens.

I go to the bank to make a deposit, and there, on the counter in front of me

...............................wait for it.............................

No, not those benign lollipops, but a bowl of REESE'S PEANUT BUTTER CUPS! Not the little ones - the full size mama jammas.

I am now shaking and starting to break out in a cold sweat that has nothing to do with my workout at at the gym.I make the deposit and run for my life.

Next stop - the grocery store. Produce department - safe haven for the calorie conscious. I breathe a sigh of relief and start tossing stuff in the cart. Some celery, cauliflower, broccoli, carrots.... some hummus in the deli department, some cottage cheese in the dairy department.

That's when I see the sign."ICE CREAM - BUY 2, GET 3 FREE!!!"

Are you kidding me? I race-walk the cart safely past the ice cream display and head for the checkout counter. Whew. Safe at home plate! Or not. The cashier rings me up, and my receipt prints out, along with a handful of coupons. I glance at the one on the top of the stack - $1.00 off Starbucks Ice Cream. Arrgh!!! I tell the cashier about my narrow escape in the ice cream aisle and we both laugh. Just then, the machine spits out another coupon. For Little Debbie cakes.

It's the fat cells. They miss me and they want me back. I can hear them now, whispering "c'mon..... step back over to the dark side..... it's so delicious over here...."

For today, at least, my answer is "Get lost!". But I know they'll be back.


painted hands said...

I was just laughing so hard when I read this. HILARIUOS! I go through the same thing everytime I venture out into the world. You know why the banks put those chocolates out there dont you? because eating chocolates makes us happy and right now with everyone running around so skeptical of banks they need to pull out all the what do you get.........Full size chocolate bars!

Four11Lady said...

Oh.........this is just hilarious....I am not sure how I got to your site, but I am sure glad that I did! Great story, fantastic work............loved it!

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